When I was young my grandma worked at Nānākuli Elementary School and she had a lot of friends. She was really close with a few people. There was this really lovely lady that was also a close friend of my grandma’s. She was so close that we considered her as our Aunty. She knew me and my brother since we were babies. She would always surprise us by making these mint chocolate chip brownies, the mint chocolate chip brownies were the best dessert I ever ate. I loved when she made them, they were soft, warm, and very delicious. I knew she made them from her heart, she was a very supportive person. When I was upset or sad she used to call me to her office and check on me. She made me feel special and she made sure I was okay.

I still remember the first time I went into her office. I was sad and frustrated because my friends and I got into an argument but when I got to her office, we sat down and talked. I explained how I felt and how everything happened. She sat there listening, it made me feel relaxed and calm. She made me feel like I could be myself and express my feelings. I’m really grateful that I got to experience that when I had the chance.

My Aunty was special to me because she was caring, she always put other people first, she always made sure everyone was okay. In my opinion, she was the best baker, one time she even made the cookie batter for us to try.  I remember when she let me help her put it in the oven to bake. I still remember the smell when it was done baking, the fresh chocolate chips melting, and the wonderful golden look. My favorite memory with her was when we were making brownies for my grandma. I wanted to try one so bad but I needed to wait.

But it all changed when she passed away; I felt like I didn’t have anyone else to talk to. I couldn’t process it — any of it. A few weeks before she passed she told me “If you need anyone to talk to I’m always here.” She meant a lot to me and my family but I always think of the precious memories. 

My grandma and I always try to bake things without burning them — or burning the house down. I always laugh when I think of this, but I realized that my Aunty was the baker of my family. It was very hard for my grandma and me. My Grandma and parents always told me to try not to cry because they are going to see you cry (in heaven) and they are going to become sad. Her passing hit me pretty hard because she helped me through a lot of things and it was hard for me to believe that she was gone. When my baby cousin passed she helped me cope. I used the same strategies to cope with her passing. One thing that would help me cope was praying, I would pray to God every night before going to bed. Another thing that helped me cope was thinking of only good memories. 

 I have advice for people that have lost a loved one or someone close to them. First, I know it’s hard to accept the fact that they are not physically here… I understand how it feels. It’s okay to take your time to cope, that’s a good thing. Second, talk to someone about your feelings. It’s good to talk to someone and not hold in all of your feelings. Enjoy life, enjoy the people around you before it’s too late. One thing I learned was to forgive and move on. For example, my dad and I will get into an argument, but before we go to sleep we say sorry because we never know if that’s our last time speaking to each other.

In my opinion, mint chocolate chip brownies are the best dessert, I never attempted to make it but now I plan to. This time I will read the instructions and let my grandma sit on the side so she doesn’t burn anything. As much as I love my grandma, she can’t bake. My Aunty Lynn Hasegawa is the best baker and she inspired me to be a better person. To anybody else, mint chocolate chip brownies could mean nothing but a snack, but to me, it’s more than that. It makes me feel a lot of emotions: happy, excited, delighted, lucky, and fortunate at the same time, heartbroken.

In Loving Memory of Acetyn Na’aukaniahi Barrozo 03-23-2016 – 05-15-16

In Loving Memory of Lynn E. Hasegawa 03-23-1966 – 11-16-18